Miamism

Last year I wrote about Miami's HOT list according to the Miami Herald. This year I'm sharing The Best of Miami according to The Miami New Times. (I guarantee you will find it a lot more colorful).

Make sure you check it out for yourself, because I only picked a few of the best because they either caught my eye, made me laugh or agreed with it completely.

• BEST ROAD TO AVOID - The Palmetto Expressway (S.R.826): The Palmetto is one of those highways that locals try to avoid at all cost...but the New Times described the experience beautifully.

If you enjoy sitting in your car until your butt melds with the seat, or grinding your teeth into a fine powder, then by all means, travel southbound on the Palmetto during rush hour, or at any hour for that matter. Once you pass the NW 25th Street exit, settle in and pull out that book you've been trying to finish, because you won't move soon. The Dolphin Expressway interchange is up ahead, and these are the two most congested expressways in the Western World.

• BEST POWER COUPLE - Dr. Sanford and Dolores Ziff - I have not had the pleasure of meeting the Ziffs personally, but who hasn't hear of the Ziff's in Miami? Check out a photo I took of the Ca' Ziff in Vizcaya.

Just because they were born in 1925 doesn't mean they can't drop it like it's hot. Despite their senior-citizen tag, the Ziffs party with the best of them; Sanford has been known to do keg stands while Dolores tries out the latest Soulja Boy dance.

• BEST NEIGHBORHOOD SHRINE - Shrine of Saint Philomena Catholic Church - I found this particular "best of" intriguing, so here it is.
  

On any given Sunday, this tiny Little Havana church -- a shrine to the patron saint of faith and purity-- fills with worshippers clad in suits or mantles and gloves while clutching their Bibles and rosaries

• BEST HOTEL TO PRETEND YOU ARE A GUEST - Sagamore Hotel in Miami Beach. I had to pay a tribute to The Sagamore, because if you look on the left hand column of this blog, the post with most views happened to have the Sagamore as its backdrop.

Spiff up a bit. Smile when you arrive at the entrance. It's worth the act to take a peek at what's inside one of the best art spaces in Miami Beach. (The Sagamore says the collection is public, but we've spied unattractive people turned away at the door.) Hotel owners showcase their contemporary collection of oils, photography, and sculptures throughout

• BEST HIDDEN NEIGHBORHOOD - Biscayne Park - We KNOW Biscayne Park...not many people know about it, like Miami Shores a couple of years ago.

Whoa! Look at that green open space! Is that a park or something?......A regular street with an extra-wide median the size of a small park. Hey, there's another one!.....Remember the speed limit is 25 miles per hour. There are people and kids and dogs walking all over the place....It's even shaped like a jewel!

• BEST HOAGIE - The Zonker - THAT's what I'm talking about!! We've always liked the Football Sandwich Shop and they even have a Miamism.com sticker on their front door. It was nice to get a little history on "The Zonker".
  

Named for legendary Dolphins running back Larry Csonka, the Zonker transforms the average hoagie into a monumental wrecking ball of salami, ham, Provolone cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, onion, oil, and mayo jammed into a sub roll.

• BEST BLOG - Eye on Miami - here's a local miami blog that puts it all out there - if you want over the top hyper-local info from politicians on.....you have to read Eye on Miami, they are on my feed reader and now on our blogroll too.

smart, witty, and informative -- almost like daily newspapers used to be. It's the conscience of the local blogosphere, concentrating on foreclosures, housing woes, corrupt politicians, and the rampant waste of taxpayer money in our community...The two people who run the site (Genius of Despair and Gimleteye) do it anonymously, but they still let their personalities shine through

• BEST PLACE TO KAYAK - Pelican Island Park to Morningside Park - I had to include this one for our friends Monika and Jay who avid kayakers (is that a word?)...maybe they'll come visit Miami one of these days.

Why bother with phony baloney when Miami has a gorgeous urban and wild landscape you can appreciate fully from the inside of a kayak? Launch yourself from Pelican Harbor Park into an emerald green wonderland populated with dolphins, manatees, and even the occasional alligator

• BEST PLACE TO USE BUG SPRAY - Flamingo - This one cracked me up and goes hand in hand with my Florida Bugs Post.
  

Even riding the Snake Bight trail at a fast clip isn't enough to shake those aggressive Everglades skeeters. And if you're walking the trails, use a hat with a net, or a suit of armor

• BEST PLACE TO ESCAPE REALITY - The Naturist Beach at Haulover Beach Park - I left this one for last because I'm still cracking up.

Nothing says, "Get thee to a nunnery, reality!" like removing one's fig leaf in public. After all, what better escape from our escapist society than to turn to one's left and drink in the canvas of a 60-year-old man's withered equipment...In about 30 minutes, you'll be begging to be cast back into the wilderness of corporate brand names.

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Ines.Hegedus-Garcia 5 feedbacks »

Comment from: Ann Cummings [Visitor] · http://AnnCummings.com

Some of those are pretty funny - love the best place to use skeeter spray, and the 'get thee to a nunnery' beach!

I'll have to check out that whole list - thanks for the morning chuckles!

Permalink May 25, 2008 06:16:34

Comment from: Ann Cummings [Visitor] · http://AnnCummings.com

Ines - you forgot to mention the 'best adult book store', and the 'best place to buy a rubber dog turd'........

That's quite an extensive list they put together. Just about every kind of category one can think of is covered.

Permalink May 25, 2008 06:22:06

Comment from: Ines [Member] · http://www.miamism.com/

Ann! isn't it hilarious? I'm glad you added the rubber dog turd, it may come in handy some day for one of our readers.

Permalink May 25, 2008 09:43:15

Comment from: Boomer Jack [Visitor] · http://jaymerton.wordpress.com/

Good stuff! Checked them all out, placing my coffee mug down and swallowing first--goo thing some were waaay too funny.

Permalink May 26, 2008 07:19:35

Comment from: Ines [Member] · http://www.miamism.com/

Good thing you put the coffee mug down - we've had too many spit accidents with this funny stuff.

Permalink May 26, 2008 08:34:52

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